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We’re home.

For three months we have driven, trained, walked, sailed, ferried, bussed and swum our way throughout this amazing continent. We have explored deserts, mountains, rivers, oceans, rainforests, lakes, islands and the vast areas of scrubland known as the “Outback”. We have lived out of a car and two tents, cooking our meals over open fires, bbqs and our two little gas burners. We have driven 16 388km (with a further 1420km on The Ghan) and spent almost $3000 on diesel! With the exceptions of spending time with friends in Alice and Darwin, and enjoying a visit from Marilyn’s sister Dianne (also whilst in Darwin), we were together 24/7 without any other familiar faces. Amidst the stream of fellow travellers with the many conversations about places we’d been or were going to, we experienced an intimate journey of deepening the connections between us and, we hope, laying a firm foundation for the road ahead as our boys hurtle rapidly towards adulthood. It’s hard to believe that my precious young Nicholas is only months away from turning 16 and about to draw level with me in height!

There are virtually no teenagers travelling the outback roads. A few families with very young children and of course lots of “grey nomads” (whose ranks we will perhaps join in a few years); but no teenagers. We felt like we were conducting a social experiment with our own children. Just at the very age when many young people appear to become increasingly alienated from their parents, we stuck ours in a car with us and drove for three months! The German tourists were amazed that we were able to do what we were doing. The concept of long-service leave doesn’t exist in Europe, and the withdrawal of young people from school for such a period would be disallowed.

Our “experiment” – the results of which are impossible to measure – was to take our boys for three months and give them a huge array of experiences, lots of good food, copious amounts of sunshine, ample time to relax combined with plenty of walking, swimming and other physical activity. We had conversations about the sorts of people they wanted to be, and what was required to achieve that. And sometimes (when confronted by examples of poor human behaviour) we would also talk about what we don’t want them to be! We watched with pride as the boys interacted with fellow travellers, and enjoyed the later conversations (after the boys had gone to bed) when we would be told how thoughtful, communicative and mature they are. We already know that, but it’s still nice to hear it from others.

At the risk of sounding like a teacher writing a school report, let me tell you what I learned about my wonderful boys.

Nicholas’s quest is to “learn”. Everywhere we went he would spend inordinate amounts of time reading, observing and soaking up as much information as he could about the places we visited. Whilst Ryan would (in good humour) roll his eyes at the thought of another museum, Nicholas would be nigh on impossible to extract from the many that we visited. There was not a single moment on the trip that the boys became angry, but the closest Nicholas got (sulking in the back seat) was when we dared to leave “Reef HQ” (the aquarium in Townsville) 15 minutes before closing time! We developed ways of allowing Nick the time he wanted to read and learn and understand, whilst also catering for the needs of our other boys who don’t always posses his amazing levels of patience and curiosity! Nicholas’s natural desire to learn ensured that every experience was a rich and valuable one for him.

Ryan’s quest is to “do”. He was our activity leader, taking charge when we were setting up camp, finding the best places to swim, enjoying a kick of the footy or organising a game of cricket with the campground kids. Everything we did was a competition. Early in the trip there were games of table tennis. Later on we would look for pubs with pool tables. We played cards most nights. Ryan’s constant mission was to “beat Dad”. I can still match him in most of these pursuits; but only just. One night, on Magnetic Island, we debated whether to attend the “trivia night” being run at the resort. Ryan decided to organise a trivia night of our own – wonderfully inventive and humorous sets of questions that revisited the many experiences we had shared. I discovered that Ryan is not just good at “doing”, but that he also comes into his own when he is organising the activities of others. He leads from the front!

Jackson’s quest is to “imagine”. A voracious reader with a vocabulary years ahead of his age, each place we visited was a stage on which the stories from his reading and from his imagination could be brought to life in some way. When given the chance he would wander off – sometimes for hours at a time – playing an imaginary game in some distant corner of whatever location we were in. A highlight of his trip was Paronella Park – a remarkable series of castles, paths, tunnels and beautiful rainforest – built by a man who had a vision and imagination that few could rival. Jackson may well be one of those few! Being the youngest, it’s perhaps hardest for us to know how Jackson will process these many experiences in the years to come. He already wants to write a novel. Perhaps the places we have visited may provide the fertile settings for future works of creativity and imagination.

I have deliberately waited till the end to talk about Marilyn. I’m not a person who struggles with words, but in this instance I find myself struggling. I remember a good friend and colleague of mine, at his 50^th birthday celebration, describe his wife as his “home”. I was moved by those words at the time and have never forgotten them. Whilst we celebrate and grieve the “big moments” in life, most of our existence is comprised of the ordinary and the everyday. Learning to live those moments fully is my quest. As I did so – whether putting up tents, preparing and cleaning up after meals, driving from place to place, or organising and recording the little details of each day – I would notice the way Marilyn and I would work seamlessly together, each understanding the needs and strengths of the other. We challenged and stretched each other – Marilyn with her sense of adventure, and me with my relentless desire to experience everything. And together we would marvel as our boys embraced each experience with openness and enthusiasm. I have a deep sense of gratitude to be so fortunate to have Marilyn as my partner in this remarkable life journey. Perhaps though I’m only just beginning to really understand what my friend meant in his unique tribute to a loving wife.

And so, in every sense of the expression, I am very much at home.

 

Postscript:

Thank you to the many people who have followed this blog, left comments, encouraged us and taken an interest in the journey. We have been humbled by the number of people who have told us how much they have enjoyed following our travels!